Loneliness
does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to
communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain
views which others find inadmissible.
Carl Jung,
“Memories, Dreams, Reflections”
I am constantly trying to communicate something incommunicable, to explain something inexplicable, to tell about something I only feel in my bones and which can only be experienced in those bones.
i hope the anonymous person who sent the “i used to live in your house. i’m drunk in boston and it’s the only address i know. happy holidays” postcard is aware that they wrote my favourite poem
I have to remind myself sometimes that my life definitely was never supposed to be one defined by accomplishments but instead finding as many ways as possible to root myself to this world after it tried multiple times to shake me off its back. I’m getting full as a deer tick baby
“despite what you’ve read, your sadness is not beautiful. no one will see you in the bookstore, curled up with your bukowski, and want to save you. stop waiting
for a salvation that will not come from the grey-eyed boy looking for an annotated copy of shakespeare,
for an end to your sadness in keats.
he coughed up his lungs at 25, and flowery words cannot conceal a life barely lived. your life is fragile, just beginning, teetering on the violent edge of the world. your sadness will bury you alive, and you are the only one who can shovel your way out with hardened hands and ragged fingernails, bleeding your despair into the unforgiving earth.
darling, you see, no heroes are coming for you. grab your sword, and don your own armor.”
“Hung on my bedroom wall is the quote attributed to Joan of Arc: “I am not afraid. I was born to do this.” However my life unfolds, goes my thinking, is how I am meant to live it; however my life unspools itself, I was created to bear it.”
30 trips around the sun and im still surprised when the days get shorter after a long summer like the nights already feel much cooler now and soon it’ll be dark at 4 in the afternoon and i’ll go wow man look how dark it is and it’s only 4 and come spring ill realize that wow you can actually tell the days are getting longer and warmer isnt that crazy and in the summer i’ll be lying in bed at 11 thinking woah it’s still not dark out and then in september ill say to myself phew that sure was a long summer you can already tell the days are getting shorter and ill remember this post and maybe ill go look for it and reblog it and dear reader, i for one hope that we both live to see it
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